you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
