are you still at the devil's house?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
