Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize