two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
