i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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