if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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