I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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