yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
