That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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