jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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