3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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