We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I could fuck to npr.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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