You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
