sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
