Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
