my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
