I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I need to calm my uterus...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
