you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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