who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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