we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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