Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
