That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
