Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
