the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
