My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
