I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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