my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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