she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
