Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is wine microwaveable?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
