Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
