We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
