I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
