Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
