Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize