That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
