I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
