Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize