i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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