You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
