Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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