we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Success! We fucked roommates!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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