youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
