You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
