I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
