why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We have started to decorate penises.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
