This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
