Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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