But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
