I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
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