Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
