So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
