I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
