just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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