you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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