I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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