We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize