We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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