I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
