Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
