Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
