I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
