You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
